/b/ - Random

It's a topic I've been thinking about for quite a while and I don't have many people to share it with. But I want to express myself one way or another. Since I was a child, I've had a wild and imaginative mind. I was always inventing fantasy stories about anything to the point where I felt like my brain was a kind of parallel reality and I had to live with both realities. I even wrote down my ideas in a notebook because I dreamed of being an artist, whether as a writer, animator or any medium to tell fictional stories. The problem is that sometimes I had to repress that condition because sometimes teachers would scold me for being in the clouds and having to lower my autism to behave in the real world, and when I talk about autism I'm not joking because recently I was diagnosed with Level 1 ASD and they suspect I have ADHD due to having a very restless mind that makes it impossible for me to be quiet. Another thing is that I felt even more closed off and repressed by my strange ability since it occurred to me that due to personal problems I ended up in personal development, MGTOW, blackpill, stoicism channels and that kind of thing, and most of the videos spoke badly of imagining things, saying that I should leave that ability behind, stop daydreaming and stay in the real world for various reasons, which made me feel bad about my strange innate ability.
But as if it were a gift from heaven, I met a humanities professor at my university. I met him through a special course in my career, but he became a friend because we talked about writing (For practical purposes, let's call him Yushitsuki because I don't want to mention his real name). Yushitsuki invited me to a secret writing workshop at the university where he taught fiction writing, it was something like the Dead Poets Society and he was my teacher and taught me writing and it was wonderful because I found someone who saw in me what was really a gift and I could finally bring it to light because I was tired of repressing myself and being so hard on myself with that "red pill" mentality that I forcibly got into through social media. I could finally unleash the gift I was born with, Yushitsuki liked the stories I wrote and thought they were great because I always came up with something new or came up with something abstract and dreamlike (like in Yume Nikki to give you an idea) and as I continued in the workshop I had the urge to share and have a medium to show what I do.
For that I want to createPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Full collection download link: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:abd7cc1236594fda1dbe2ae00e71614c63d166a3&dn=Canterlot+Royal+Ballet+Academy+by+AVCHonline.zip&tr=udp://tracker.openbittorrent.com:80&tr=udp://tracker.opentrackr.org:1337/announce

-OR-

ftp://grayt.club (port 21, 990, 9443) [Use a client like Filezilla, or use https://www.filestash.app/online-ftp-client.html]
Username: opendir
Password: opendir
Path: "/Uploads (G-Uploads)/Canterlot Royal Ballet Academy by AVCHonline"

Web file listing: http://grayt:EverythingS3%40rch@everything.grayt.club/G%3A/Uploads/Canterlot%20Royal%20Ballet%20Academy%20by%20AVCHonline

Actual true story inbound:

>be me
>17 at the time
>beta loser who can't get laid for the life of him
>pathological fear of girls since middle school, when some bitch mind fucked me
>have a younger sister, 16 at this time
>my sister is boy crazy, really wants to date someone
>announces that she's "seeing someone"
>father and I start discussing plans on how to shoot the bastard.
>few days later, brings the dude home
>tall, scrawny kid with brown hair and glasses
>visibly nervous
>my father and I sit down and tell him that he's "walked into the courtroom"
>discuss for a few minutes
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Colton asdf *as-duff*
rhymes is tragic
skinny mane magic
my iq low
my thoughts on tha show *serial experiments lain*
don't matter cuz I'm slow
lain ain't a bro
she is a girl
I'm out here saying I don't like the free world

big Colton out

rat girl feet

Can wirechan count to 10?

https://mebious.net
thoughts?

gm!

The Luciferian Doctrine was used as a strategy of manipulation by the NAA Luciferian forces that were irritated at the success of the Black Sun’s control over the masses and the immense power, wealth and territory they had accumulated by the Popes campaigns and the Romans backing the Catholic Church. Because of the incredible brutality exhibited by the Black Suns enforcing the Roman Catholic Church’s satanic ideology, some groups went underground to reject the Church and its teachings. Thus, the Luciferian Doctrine was born out of the rejection of the power of the Catholic Church during the murderous times of the Crusades, and purports that Lucifer is a positive helper and bringer of light for an awakened humanity, in pursuit of gaining deeper knowledge of the true spiritual self. The proponents of the Luciferian Doctrine believe that Lucifer is not evil or anti-life, but is the God that desired to educate humankind and save them from the fallen state, so that worthy humans could elevate themselves into true Universal knowledge and enlightenment.

In this doctrine, the bible God Yahweh is considered to be the anti-life principle and is actually the primary evil oppressor of humankind, because he did not want humans to gain this knowledge of the tree of life. As a result of the murderous persecution of all those who disagreed with the Catholic Church, secret societies were formed in order for groups to discuss these theories, along with studying the ancient wisdom collected from the Gnostics and other sacred texts outside of the bible.

Holy fuck, I know none of the shit I vent about here will ever help, I am a lost fucking cause. Neo liberalism allows sad fucks like me to bypass the laws of natural selection.
I was gonna meet my friends who I've abstained from for 8 months today. I was gonna go to church and beg for the means to push though my sad state of fucking being and praise the lord for my gifts. I was gonnaq gonna study literature this year. I was gonna excell in my studies these two fucking weeks.

Today I spent all of my fucking day fucking gooning. Not giving a single fuck of awareness. Fucking GOONING. I spent the most important day for me to see the only people who have t bear my loser fucking personhood. Fuck. I want to fucking kill myself out of anger of myself. Waste of fucking time.
Its midnight now. Just finished my gooning fucking session, of building up for 8 hours. Only now it striked me, fuck my motherfucking soul. It was such a fucking giant orgasm I entered a meditative state for a minute, and all I could think of? It gave me a realization, a long time I've had such a brain numbing orgasm, I realized I've spent a year using my dick, not computers, not imageboards, not alcohol or someshit MY FUXKING DICK. IVE BEEN GOONING ALMOST EVERY FUCKINV DAY for . I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHUNG NOT OUT OG LAAZINESS, OUT OF FUCKING GOONING. FUCKIBG G O O N I N G. I've been using my fucking porb addiction anf wasted the most important fucking years of my life.

I know I'm still a faggot and will keep gooning, a gun to my wasteful skull would be good merit. I will do hypnosis as it did help plenty and shit but I doubt I will overcome my bullshit, its all just shorf delay to the eventual conclusion. Not sure if I'll sleep this night. To wake up with fresh thoughts and decide to goon again? Epictetus would kill me for natures sake, what the fuck am I doing in my life. Even now, posting this here, its complete bullshit. Holy fuck i sill ve surprised the day my death comes. My life is short term bullshit. Goodbye.