I am getting fed up of seeing these posts, you relate to Lain and so does your depression but please don't fritter your life away here talking to inanimate a-holes.
hey im not inanimate :(
also not op even tho this seems like something i would post.
im sorry ur upset op
If you relate to Lain too much, that's probably a sign that you need to change.
>maybe I'll die alone
This may sound like a cop-out, but it's only sad if you make it sad. IDK your life, maybe you are actually lonely and want someone to connect to. But make sure it's actually something you want and not something you've been told you want.
I believe you can find hope, happiness and feelings. I would suggest seeking help IRL. The wired is useful for a lot of things, but I wouldn't say mental health is at the top of the list.
Start with small, manageable steps. Try cleaning your room (or where ever you spend most of your time), getting more sunlight/fresh air, talking to more people even if it's small talk, exercising/physical movement, or a hobby you enjoy (that isn't an addiction). IK these might sound like empty platitudes, but these are easy steps that can improve mood.
Please always remember, no one can help you unless you ask or let them. This seems basic, but I feel like it's pretty easy to forget sometimes. If you want help there is plenty out there but you actually have to want it.
Unfortunately I don't have much other advise, as I am struggling myself, but I wish you the best. Godspeed, anon.