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/lain/ - lain.iwakura

You've probably heard of Lain, of the Wired.
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I haven’t set foot outside in 3 years, I haven’t even opened the windows. I don’t talk to anyone online, I don’t go out for groceries, I live alone.

This isn’t the first time. I dropped out of school when I was 14 and spent years alone in my room. I have spent my entire life trying to avoid the outside world, because when I go outside I am judged, bullied and hated. The loud sounds of cars make me scream and cry. I throw up often. I’m afraid. I can not speak to people. I’ve never had a friend or a genuine connection to others.

I am lonely, but I want to be more alone. I want to live somewhere miles away from other people. In my dreams all I can hear is the bugs and animals, no people, no cars, no family. More than anything I just want to feel safe, and people make me feel unsafe.

I wish no one could speak to me. I wish no one could look at me. I don’t know anyone. I am trying to find comfort in anonymity.


This is probably an annoying post, I am sorry. I haven’t posted anywhere in a very long time.


I mean i hate p much everyone i really get this inside is nice, but there cool stuff outside too. I would suggest blasting loud fast music in ur headphones chugging some monster energys and go mob around explore and stuff, and if u see a cute person meow at them. then when u get worn out go back and home and recharge.
outside is cool sometimes so is inside. I have fun be hyper active and blasting music, exploring.
Have fun. most people really dont give a fuck about you, or are so brain dead and caught up in their own shit to care about a rando, so u could litterally do anything as long as u dont hurt anyone.
Have fun, and dont forget to make autistic little noises at people randomly, its key.


Oh lad, I'm not wholey certain you're telling the complete and honest truth, but I know there are people out there who could be as hermited as you. It seems tough but get some fresh air fella, there's nothing to be afraid of if you smarten yourself up (aka don't look like a slob w/food down your shirt), give yourself a smile when you look at yourself in the mirror whether you want to or not, put the key in the door and step outside. I think it's worth a try!

G'wan, live a little. It's only over when it's over.


lain, look at this post now that you have written it. you just let your mind finally talk. now take a good look at it.

the title that your (unconscious?) wrote is "loneliness". this is a bad feeling of someone that… seeks connection with someone else.
yet after a description of your situation you declare the will to be even more alone.

what i am saying is: think very deeply about what you really wish for. perhaps you are saying this as an extreme way to cope with the feeling of not having a genuine connection with anyone.
it will be very painful but it will be worth it. for now, at least try to have a deeper understanding of what your unconscious is trying to say to you.

i struggle with this, but i wish to help. i may not have the key to my lock, but who says i don't have yours?


Meowing at people or throwing little autism ridden sound waves at them being the key is hilarious.

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