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/lain/ - lain.iwakura

You've probably heard of Lain, of the Wired.
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I feel like we might have a bit in common. I spent the last 3 years trying to be social and make some friends, and I think I'm actually doing pretty well now.

I still feel like with almost all people I'm playing a try-to-be-social game, consciously changing my behavior to be friendly and energetic around people. Multiple times I've felt like I've lost who I really am, like as if who myself is has become this formless emotionless being who puts on different masks and steals personality traits.

Despite that, I've still had a lot of fun and learned a lot from my friends. They make me feel better and I really enjoy being around them even though I'm coldly thinking about how to behave socially.

I think your idea of connecting with people is a high bar that doesn't have to be reached with most people. The people I feel like I've connected and I can "be myself" with, either I've known so well we feel like siblings or I can talk about stuff I really like and they like it too. This is like 4 people, and I only found them because I was trying to become friends with so many people.


fuck, meant as a reply to >>>/lain/1626


>>1638 hi, i replied to you in the original thread!


I've been trying to do the same thing faking my personality just to make friends even though people like me, nobody really tries to get closer with me do you ever get that feeling?


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Thats every body, you just think about it while normal people know it intrisically and subconsiously to not bother the cashier about their basketball teams stats or whatever normal people are into it that are "normal" but are in reality as autistic as your
oriental cartoons and videogames

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