/lain/ - lain.iwakura

Damn, almost the same. Do you have any friends IRL to talk to? If you do, it helps a lot to try and reach out and connect to them.

>>1626
How old are you? Your options depend a lot on your age.

Welcome to wirechan!1!11!

Now turn it off and go outside.

>>1627
unfortunately i don't. i knew some people in high school (all male class) but i could never feel a connection with them. I always tried to be the best with them and i always helped them. It's like i just could not relate with them and i always had to put a mask on. I don't really know why. i've never met someone I could truly be myself with. I'm not even sure if there is a self anymore.
>>1628
I am 19M. I would like to go out, but where? I don't have a place.

>>1629
What do you like do do?
Outside of staying in front of a glowing screen.

>>1626
It's okay, anon. When I was 19 I remember feeling the same way. Everything feels so awkward and interactions with people and the world don't seem right. The world makes you feel like that, at this stage in your life since you're technically an adult, you should have things and people figured out already. Like you should have a plan of action and be incredibly charismatic around your peers and have amazing long lasting relationships.

In reality, you're still a kid at the beginnings of figuring the world and yourself out. It's okay to feel the way you're feeling. I think it's how most teenagers feel, but people make the mistake of comparing their internal feelings about themselves to the external delusion they have about those around them. You're not alone, but your loneliness is the only loneliness that you can perceive.

I'm 23M and whenever I look back at the last of my teenage years, I wish I could go back and give myself a hug and reassure myself that everything was alright. You'll form connections naturally as time goes on.

Connections on the wired can be real, I've experienced them, but they typically take much longer to develop and have to eventually culminate in that human factor of seeing and hearing someone with your own eyes and ears.

Sorry for the long reply, but this post is really relatable to my younger self forced into college and being lonely thinking my life was terrible and would only get worse. You're gonna be fine :)

>>1626
>How do you deal with the unbearable loneliness? How can i connect with someone?
i wish i knew…

>>1630
not much… i read a lot of philosophy and psychology but i also like to tinker with stuff. I also love music and play some

>>1631
thank you for the answer and don't worry for the length, i really appreciate it. it's great that you found the way out, but i really feel like this from when i was 12. It's not because of the expectation of society, i never cared. I'm sure that other people feel lonely but eventually they seem to find other people over the years, I never did. I always thought "it gets better". Sometimes i even tried to confront them (by trying to explain what i feel) but they just seemed to not understand at all, like i had issues or i was "drunk".
It's really literal when i say i could never feel a connection with anyone.
I also tried to go out with them, but i just always felt anxious and out of place. I almost developed another personality to force myself.

I thank all of you for the answers. It helps a lot.

>>1633
Have you thought about geting into a debate group? thinkering with stuff could be anything, but there are things from woodshops to robot building groups? And last but not least, the easiest of them all, join a band, there are virtually infinite empty spots in a virtually infinte number of bands you're bound to find something.

You will get used to it.

>>1635
Never settle for mediocrity, there are other things out there.

Hi, If you want to laugh a bit: yesterday i tried going to the city to see if something would change; all prepared and dressed, and i waited for half an hour freezing. The bus did not come because… it was Sunday and i forgot. I am so stupid.

>>1634
Thank you for the suggestions. What is a debate group? A band would be cool but i prefer to listen to things really

>>1635
sorry, i wish that was true for me, but it didn't.

>>>/lain/1637
Thank you for answering, i hope the mods can recover this
I don't wish to have this high bar with everyone, i just wish for someone really. I thought about it the entire day, maybe i am searching for "love", but even then i would not know what that is. What is the difference really? Is it like two different things, or a spectrum where you can't distinguish the boundaries?
Do you think that i should force myself to go out with people? Will it be worth it? I hated to force myself, but maybe they were not the right people. I'm not sure. I guess i could try to know someone from my uni class?

I was thinking about losing myself a bit in the wired too, do you have any suggestions or tips? I never made friends here.

I feel somewhat pathetic. I'm sorry if i ask a lot of questions.

>>1639
A debate group its when you put philosophies to the test in the real world, its a place where you get to share your ideas and to find like minded and opposite minded people, like how greek philosophers used to argue with each other in a symposium except now half of them are cute(!!!) girls.

>>1626
I would like to say I had lots of friends and was popular until I was 14 and moved to another city, from 14 to 18 I had no real friends other than internet people and was raised by the internet, I know that those times are the hardest part, hormones, girls and lack of a clear path in life but trust me it gets better, you just gotta go out and to something, adult life its not like high school, now as somebody who people see it as "cool" adult I wish I could just tell young me to stop being so retarded and just talk to people instead of being too cool for school and waiting on people to fall on my lap.
The hardest thing I learned being internet raised is that if you want something you gotta get out and go and get it, anime is not real, you wont magically meet a best friend or a cute quiet girl. The best you're gonna do it with that attitude its failed normies/junkies who scoop up the desperate to hangout(and take advantage) with because they have been rejected by everybody else.

You haven't been rejected yet, you just haven't tried.

>>1641
Thank you. I am not sure if I am in the right place to do this though… having a depressed person in a debate group would not be a great show at all, right?
>>1642
I am sorry, but as I said I don't want to tell myself that It will get better, I just want to act like you suggest. But I don't have anywhere to go, so I stay at home all the time because it's the only place I feel somewhat normal. Although, I can't even make friends online, because I don't even know how to do that.

>>1643
You really have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone if you want things to change in your life. You can't look at activities and situations you've never been in and come up with an excuse to think you'll hate it when in reality you've never experienced it so you won't know until you try it. Even while you're reading this you're trying to come up with a reason why I'm wrong and why it's better that you stay in your comfort zone away from things that you think you won't like but have never tried. For any real change to happen in your life, OP, you need to reject that low self esteem inner voice and put yourself out there. You won't get instant results. It takes time and a commitment to expose yourself to people you don't know and situations you've never been in. It's exposure therapy and it'll cure you of most of the problems you've stated having in this thread. The first step is always the hardest and that step is telling yourself that you're wrong and that you're gonna put yourself in a social situation no matter how afraid you are to do it.

I believe in you, so you better not let me down, Lain

>>1644
Well… All right. Yes, I was already making some excuses. I am at home for another week or two because I have exams, but then I promise I will do something… I just need to find the right places to try. I don't live very near the city but I will do my best. I hope I will eventually find someone. Thanks Ain.

(by the way, i love dead space and callisto protocol ;) )

>>1643
You gotta fucking stand up for yourself

>>1645
No problem! It gets easier the more you try, I promise.

Also, I love those both too :) great games, especially the OG Dead Space.

I'm on the same page, but I'm 26M… I just put up through work, pretend like I'm sleeping, conscience off, ignore that I'm wasting my time at work and just do the work… then at night I get home and enjoy some vidya.. at friday night I get myself a bottle of whine and gulp it all up throughout the night wihle I play some competitive FPS and enjoy some bangers on and off. Sometimes I'll get whiskey instead of whine and drink throughout the whole weekend… I cook some cute meals for myself and stuff. I don't really have any friends, I have one friend and we talk on the phone like once a week but it doesn't go much further than that, he's much older, married and busy… I feel a bit down sometimes and I wish I had a girlfriend… but… have you really looked around you and noticed all the greed, interests, social leverage and many other negative aspect of relationships… have you also noticed how someone's social network is always morphing? If you look at how it really is for the social types.. you'll probably vallue your situation a little bit more… I really really like my lonely weekends! A girlfriend would be a really good thing… but would she be willing to spend the weekend watching anime, playing games drinking and smoking? I bet not! I hope you can find what you want in life… just know that your current situation is probably not that all bad… which doesn't mean you can't strive for another situation you might find more convinient… cheers <3